Writing

The task of writing is daunting to me. Like I feel like I have so much to write, and yet like...like I don't really know how to do it. I mean I have decided not to start in earnest until I get back from all my many vacations in the next month, because I will need momentum, and starting up and not being able to carry that momentum is dooming my project to failure. But I still should be writing, and at least researching for my politics blog.

Really I am depressed because I just finished reading something by Orson Scott Card, one of my favorite authors, and he has just written so much, and has sooo many projects that he is working on. And I am like - will I always have a project hanging over my head. But it's like, more that I just feel this impending doom, because...there is so much in me - and I will never be done. Which is odd, because I feel the same way about sewing, but it energizes me, excites me. I feel like I have so much in me that I will never be done with it - but that is exciting, and just means I will always have something to work on.

Probably the thing I am worried about is that I wanted to have this book done before I go back to Utah, and I am dragging my feet about starting it. So I am worried that I won't make my goal, but it is a somewhat arbitrary goal anyway. I just worry if I don't finish this book by then, I will never actually finish anything, and will just have all these ideas, all these stories to tell, but never actually get them told.

I just need to go to the temple - it always gets me thinking clearly and believing in myself.