Caffeine is Evil

I feel old. As in when I was younger, I could drink a coke or Mountain Dew right before bed and have no trouble falling alseep. I drank a Mountain Dew like 5 hours ago, and I still cannot get to sleep. I have been trying for the last three and a half hours at least. Conclusion: I am not drinking more caffeine.

I am realizing today how much the past influences our lives. And like, it seems sort of obvious, but I don't usually think about the past. But now that I am writing about it, I think about it a lot more. It is just interesting to see the different pieces of life that shape you, and those that you discard.

While I have been trying to sleep, I have been listening to tapes I have. My sister recorded stories for me maybe 11-12 years ago. There are just a few stories, and they are funny and enjoyable. And then I have a whole slew (maybe 5-6) tapes of recordings of my dad telling me stories at night when I first moved in with him in Maryland, about 9 years ago. It is odd remembering my motivation for recording the tapes. I was so happy to be living with my dad, and I loved him a lot, and I was worried that something would happen to him, and I would miss him, and I thought if he died in a car crash or something, I would enjoy listening to the stories. Well, even if he never died in a car crash, I am glad I have the tapes to listen to now. And glad he didn't have to die for me to appreciate them. Although...my grandpa died, and I had a tape of him telling stories, and I have really wanted to listen to it, but I don't know where it is. It might be in my room in Maryland, because it was not in my box of tapes that I have here. So I hope it is there, because I really would like to listen to it. I'm also on the tape counting to 10, and I think I was like 3-4 at the time. So it was cute.

It is fun to remember the past. It is an easy place to travel, because you know where it goes.