Pinning Down what I don't like that I did

Situations arise, and sometimes I think, yeah, that is totally not how I would have liked to handle the situation. Most of the time I can figure out a better way to do so, and trace back through cause and effect, and get to the cause that is the best source for changing how things will be affected, and so things can be properly dealt with.

Then sometimes, things happen, and I am like, what how and why did that happen? And I have no idea where exactly I went wrong, why I went wrong, and what to do about it. I am ... perplexed by myself. Like I know that there are times where my judgment is not as good as other times, and it is usually fairly predictable, and I can anticipate and compensate for it, by making sure I don't do anything terribly invasive while in that mode. But sometimes, I am just taken totally by surprise, and overreact terribly to something.

But then, I can understand why things would get my upset. And it is not that I think I shouldn't be upset. But, at the same time, I think I blew things out of proportion.

I don't like causing drama. It is why I am reserved. It is why I am so nice. It is why I do so much of what I do, not all of it for the best. Sometimes it is better to have some drama in your life. But when I cause drama, I do pause, and try to figure out why, try to think of how it can be avoided.

But I don't really know how to do that when I can't figure out why I caused it in the first place. Life is weird.