Kinks

It's interesting how little things can throw you. I was sick on Friday. More like half of Friday, the first half, starting at 2am. And it has been such a kink in things. I tried waking up yesterday for water aerobics, but I was just too tired to get up, so slept in later. And then today I wanted to get up and go swimming, so I made sure I got to bed at a decent time, but I didn't want to get up that early again. And so my dishes are undone, as the time when I feel like doing them has been missing from my day. The system that I had worked out and was happy with now has this kink thrown into it. I'm pretty sure it will just take a few more days to get back into it, but it's kind of thrown me that it is taking this long.

The second kink is that I think I could be heading towards higher amounts of socialization in my life, which I highly welcome, but it hard for me not to let go of everything else in favor of socialization. It is generally what is most important to me. But with greater socialization comes more pressure on my sleep schedule, making it harder to exercise, and less time to practice the piano. All of these competing interests. The natural way to take care of it is to turn my hobbies into social activities, which I have figured out how to do in certain areas. Sewing could be done with my sister. I could try and find someone to sing with me for the piano, the only problem being I am not quite ready for that, but that is my end goal. I suppose in that case the sacrifice seems worth it. But then it becomes the question of how often.

In freedom, we are still bound by our choices. I can do anything I want to do, but I can only choose those things that are most important to me. I cannot do everything, not immediately at least. And that is the kink. I have to choose what I want.